m***@walla.co.il
2008-04-08 12:19:34 UTC
The Saga of Hans
A Short Play
DRAMATIS PERSONAE
Hans, an unhappy ex-Nazi.
The Devil, there to give such people the help they require
[Enter Hans, dressed plainly and unobtrusively, steps onto the stage.]
HANS:
Oh, I remember days of old,
When Jews I hated with no hold.
These were days ever so fine,
Days of freedom for which I pine.
Yes, I ranted about those evil Jews,
And the way they made us lose
The First World War, when they betrayed
The Vaterland to their servants paid.
I exposed the conspiracies of Jewish bankers,
Showed them to be our country's cankers,
Proved conclusively the schemes of their sages,
of which our country was now paying the wages.
I knew them to be a subhuman race--
No-one could have such expressions on their face.
I cheered when the Fuhrer laid out his plan
To wipe out this eternal scourge of Man.
How exhilarated I was, to join his legions,
Doing the purifying work in all of the Volk's regions.
It seemed to go on for ever, showing no sign of an end--
But then they foiled us again, and did the Third Reich rend.
Now I am hiding, in a faraway land,
Hiding my past, hiding my old red and white armband.
Worst of all, in my eyes, is that I am no more allowed
To say what I think of the Jews, in public, aloud.
Ach, gone are the days, damn!
What a sad man I am!
[Enter the Devil.]
THE DEVIL:
Hans, do not panic, it is me, your long-time friend!
I have come to help you, bring your sadness to an end.
I have the means to restore you to former glory,
To the state of making your hatred of Jews an acceptable story.
HANS:
I thank you, red one, but I just cannot see
How you can bring back those days to me.
By what method could it be acceptable, Master,
To say again that the Jews are our disaster?
THE DEVIL:
It is certain, my friend, that you cannot use
The same phraseology of old to disparage the Jews.
Instead, you must a new mode of wording adopt,
You must the sentiments of today co-opt.
First, there is a sacrifice you will have to make:
No more can you appear to be fighting for the Fuhrer's sake;
Instead you will have to take the mantle of former foes,
Don the Sickle and Hammer, to which the world still tolerance shows.
Yes, I know they were treacherous, brought the Fuhrer down,
And I can see the prospect of joining them is making you frown.
But do you not agree, my friend, that for returning to the old way
This is but a small price to pay?
HANS:
If it enables me to fight the Jews again,
Then whatever you say, Master--I am your most faithful of men.
THE DEVIL:
Excellent! But the Sickle and Hammer is a mere token.
More important are the things that are spoken.
For every phrase you used against Jews in the past,
You must know the replacement now fashionable to cast.
First the very word "Jews", although it will be hard,
Must be replaced by something impervious to the "Anti-Semite!" card.
Instead of "Jews", my friend, which could send your career to the
gutter,
"Zionists" is the word which from now on you must utter.
Speak no more of "Jews", for that leaves no room for interpretation;
Instead speak of the state of Israel, the Jew among the nations.
No longer do the "Jews" bring the world to the edge of precipice;
To say Israel is doing so will in our day and age suffice.
No more "Elders" and "Protocols", Hans! You would be undone.
Today it is AIPAC; the Israel Lobby is the one.
No more talk of rich Jewish bankers stabbing us in the back;
Now is the time to speak of how they led us to war in Iraq.
The Jews can take, for today's disasters, the same old blame;
Only the events are changed, while the culprit is the same.
9/11, 7/7, all terrorist attacks and other threats of jihad--
Say that were it not for Israel, things would never be so bad!
Above all, dear friend, there is the greatest weapon you will ever
find:
The lynchpin of Jew-hatred today: Palestine, Palestine, Palestine!
You will find you will have to denigrate your own past,
Saying the Jews are now as you were then--
but who cares what ship is sailing under Jew-hatred's mast!
You used to go out with a "Kill the Jews" sign;
No more can you do that--instead it'll be "Free Palestine".
You will stand by as the Muslims, the Fuhrer's allies of old, finish
his mission,
While you support it as a "struggle for self-determination".
Some will accuse you, friend, of hating the Jews.
For them, Hans, there is a handy answer you can now use:
That criticism of Israel's innate colonialism
Cannot be construed as anti-Semitism.
You will single out the state of Israel for criticism burning,
Just as the Jews were, alone among the nations, in the days for which
you are yearning.
Among all the nations, you will say of the Jews alone,
That they are not deserving of having a state of their own.
For your old hatred of Jews, you will now find an outlet,
By supporting the Palestinians in setting up their reichlet.
Your thirst for Jewish blood will soon be sated,
By giving your moral support for the murder of those most hated.
Hans, I think that it is now most clear,
The metamorphosis you must undergo, to restore those days so dear.
HANS:
Master, I thank you ever so much,
For your helping hand, for keeping in touch.
For giving me an opportunity to relive the glorious days,
This servant is at a loss to think how he repays.
Yet one thing, Master, from the past I still crave,
Just one thing still missing from those days most brave:
A role more participatory, more active,
Not just verbal, auxiliary and supportive.
See, my Master: in those days long gone,
Shouting slogans and writing screeds was only half the fun;
Much more I liked, Master, was donning those Sig-Rune sleeves,
And going onto the field, every two or three eves.
I beg your forgiveness, Master, for what I ask:
A more active role, a more bloody task.
If none is possible, then I am sorry, my lord;
I will take the offer you have made just before.
THE DEVIL:
I am not angry, dear Hans,
I know that bloody activity is the sign of my best servants and fans.
There is a way for you to achieve that which you now seek,
But yet greater is the sacrifice for the way of which I shall speak.
It requires you to leave your conveniences and amenities,
And to go where unfettered Jew-hatred is--where the action is.
I have already spoken of the Fuhrer's former comrades on the battle
line;
To the land of his Mufti friend you must go, then, to Palestine.
You will have to be one of them, with all that entails;
But I am sure, my friend, that in comparison to the benefits, all of
that pales.
You will be able to vilify the Jews with no holds barred,
And what is more, the world will hail you for that,
for being part of the cause of a nation by Zionist colonialism
scarred.
You remember how you declared the Jews to be subhuman creatures?
Now you will be able to call them sons of apes, among many attractive
features.
You will be able to hold proudly your "Death to the Jews" sign,
And the world will approve, seeing you the victims of oppressed
Palestine.
But best of all, dear Hans, is the active role you sought:
Part of a resistance movement, with the Zionist enemy to be fought.
You will be able to raise your AK-47 and murder them all,
And the world will approve, for Palestine cannot be forever held in
Zionist thrall.
The world, which in your day wished the Jews to scram to Palestine,
Will now cheer you in your efforts to liquidate this planet's
festering brine.
The Communists, your former enemies, will give you comfort and aid,
Saying how the affront of a Jewish state in Palestine must be with
Jewish blood paid.
You will say that Israel must be wiped out from under the firmament,
And spin-doctors will come to your rescue, explaining how a struggle
for justice is what you meant.
They will say it was just an expression of hyperbole,
While you take those words just as you took the Fuhrer's: literally.
In your efforts you may well end up dead,
But even should you do, this thought will be in your head:
That, like your comrades in arms, and like your Fuhrer in the bunker,
You did not die alone, but took with you the world's eternal canker!
And the world will approve of your path, for we know
They hate the Jews as much as you do, if not more so.
HANS:
Master, I cannot ever repay you,
For giving me not one, but two ways to go to.
Now I will retire to my house to consider
Which of the two ways is the more beneficial, the better.
THE DEVIL:
Hans, I have no doubt you will succeed
In finding the way, and then you will proceed,
But before you go and I wish you devilspeed,
There is but one counsel I want you to heed:
Whichever of the two ways, my friend, you choose,
Just remember no longer to speak solely of "the Jews";
Whether you join the Communists or the Islamists,
The world must hear from you that your struggle is against "the
Zionists"!
And the world will approve, for Jew-hatred does not die, it merely
goes into recess,
Again to resurface when it has found a new dress.
[Exeunt]
THE END
A Short Play
DRAMATIS PERSONAE
Hans, an unhappy ex-Nazi.
The Devil, there to give such people the help they require
[Enter Hans, dressed plainly and unobtrusively, steps onto the stage.]
HANS:
Oh, I remember days of old,
When Jews I hated with no hold.
These were days ever so fine,
Days of freedom for which I pine.
Yes, I ranted about those evil Jews,
And the way they made us lose
The First World War, when they betrayed
The Vaterland to their servants paid.
I exposed the conspiracies of Jewish bankers,
Showed them to be our country's cankers,
Proved conclusively the schemes of their sages,
of which our country was now paying the wages.
I knew them to be a subhuman race--
No-one could have such expressions on their face.
I cheered when the Fuhrer laid out his plan
To wipe out this eternal scourge of Man.
How exhilarated I was, to join his legions,
Doing the purifying work in all of the Volk's regions.
It seemed to go on for ever, showing no sign of an end--
But then they foiled us again, and did the Third Reich rend.
Now I am hiding, in a faraway land,
Hiding my past, hiding my old red and white armband.
Worst of all, in my eyes, is that I am no more allowed
To say what I think of the Jews, in public, aloud.
Ach, gone are the days, damn!
What a sad man I am!
[Enter the Devil.]
THE DEVIL:
Hans, do not panic, it is me, your long-time friend!
I have come to help you, bring your sadness to an end.
I have the means to restore you to former glory,
To the state of making your hatred of Jews an acceptable story.
HANS:
I thank you, red one, but I just cannot see
How you can bring back those days to me.
By what method could it be acceptable, Master,
To say again that the Jews are our disaster?
THE DEVIL:
It is certain, my friend, that you cannot use
The same phraseology of old to disparage the Jews.
Instead, you must a new mode of wording adopt,
You must the sentiments of today co-opt.
First, there is a sacrifice you will have to make:
No more can you appear to be fighting for the Fuhrer's sake;
Instead you will have to take the mantle of former foes,
Don the Sickle and Hammer, to which the world still tolerance shows.
Yes, I know they were treacherous, brought the Fuhrer down,
And I can see the prospect of joining them is making you frown.
But do you not agree, my friend, that for returning to the old way
This is but a small price to pay?
HANS:
If it enables me to fight the Jews again,
Then whatever you say, Master--I am your most faithful of men.
THE DEVIL:
Excellent! But the Sickle and Hammer is a mere token.
More important are the things that are spoken.
For every phrase you used against Jews in the past,
You must know the replacement now fashionable to cast.
First the very word "Jews", although it will be hard,
Must be replaced by something impervious to the "Anti-Semite!" card.
Instead of "Jews", my friend, which could send your career to the
gutter,
"Zionists" is the word which from now on you must utter.
Speak no more of "Jews", for that leaves no room for interpretation;
Instead speak of the state of Israel, the Jew among the nations.
No longer do the "Jews" bring the world to the edge of precipice;
To say Israel is doing so will in our day and age suffice.
No more "Elders" and "Protocols", Hans! You would be undone.
Today it is AIPAC; the Israel Lobby is the one.
No more talk of rich Jewish bankers stabbing us in the back;
Now is the time to speak of how they led us to war in Iraq.
The Jews can take, for today's disasters, the same old blame;
Only the events are changed, while the culprit is the same.
9/11, 7/7, all terrorist attacks and other threats of jihad--
Say that were it not for Israel, things would never be so bad!
Above all, dear friend, there is the greatest weapon you will ever
find:
The lynchpin of Jew-hatred today: Palestine, Palestine, Palestine!
You will find you will have to denigrate your own past,
Saying the Jews are now as you were then--
but who cares what ship is sailing under Jew-hatred's mast!
You used to go out with a "Kill the Jews" sign;
No more can you do that--instead it'll be "Free Palestine".
You will stand by as the Muslims, the Fuhrer's allies of old, finish
his mission,
While you support it as a "struggle for self-determination".
Some will accuse you, friend, of hating the Jews.
For them, Hans, there is a handy answer you can now use:
That criticism of Israel's innate colonialism
Cannot be construed as anti-Semitism.
You will single out the state of Israel for criticism burning,
Just as the Jews were, alone among the nations, in the days for which
you are yearning.
Among all the nations, you will say of the Jews alone,
That they are not deserving of having a state of their own.
For your old hatred of Jews, you will now find an outlet,
By supporting the Palestinians in setting up their reichlet.
Your thirst for Jewish blood will soon be sated,
By giving your moral support for the murder of those most hated.
Hans, I think that it is now most clear,
The metamorphosis you must undergo, to restore those days so dear.
HANS:
Master, I thank you ever so much,
For your helping hand, for keeping in touch.
For giving me an opportunity to relive the glorious days,
This servant is at a loss to think how he repays.
Yet one thing, Master, from the past I still crave,
Just one thing still missing from those days most brave:
A role more participatory, more active,
Not just verbal, auxiliary and supportive.
See, my Master: in those days long gone,
Shouting slogans and writing screeds was only half the fun;
Much more I liked, Master, was donning those Sig-Rune sleeves,
And going onto the field, every two or three eves.
I beg your forgiveness, Master, for what I ask:
A more active role, a more bloody task.
If none is possible, then I am sorry, my lord;
I will take the offer you have made just before.
THE DEVIL:
I am not angry, dear Hans,
I know that bloody activity is the sign of my best servants and fans.
There is a way for you to achieve that which you now seek,
But yet greater is the sacrifice for the way of which I shall speak.
It requires you to leave your conveniences and amenities,
And to go where unfettered Jew-hatred is--where the action is.
I have already spoken of the Fuhrer's former comrades on the battle
line;
To the land of his Mufti friend you must go, then, to Palestine.
You will have to be one of them, with all that entails;
But I am sure, my friend, that in comparison to the benefits, all of
that pales.
You will be able to vilify the Jews with no holds barred,
And what is more, the world will hail you for that,
for being part of the cause of a nation by Zionist colonialism
scarred.
You remember how you declared the Jews to be subhuman creatures?
Now you will be able to call them sons of apes, among many attractive
features.
You will be able to hold proudly your "Death to the Jews" sign,
And the world will approve, seeing you the victims of oppressed
Palestine.
But best of all, dear Hans, is the active role you sought:
Part of a resistance movement, with the Zionist enemy to be fought.
You will be able to raise your AK-47 and murder them all,
And the world will approve, for Palestine cannot be forever held in
Zionist thrall.
The world, which in your day wished the Jews to scram to Palestine,
Will now cheer you in your efforts to liquidate this planet's
festering brine.
The Communists, your former enemies, will give you comfort and aid,
Saying how the affront of a Jewish state in Palestine must be with
Jewish blood paid.
You will say that Israel must be wiped out from under the firmament,
And spin-doctors will come to your rescue, explaining how a struggle
for justice is what you meant.
They will say it was just an expression of hyperbole,
While you take those words just as you took the Fuhrer's: literally.
In your efforts you may well end up dead,
But even should you do, this thought will be in your head:
That, like your comrades in arms, and like your Fuhrer in the bunker,
You did not die alone, but took with you the world's eternal canker!
And the world will approve of your path, for we know
They hate the Jews as much as you do, if not more so.
HANS:
Master, I cannot ever repay you,
For giving me not one, but two ways to go to.
Now I will retire to my house to consider
Which of the two ways is the more beneficial, the better.
THE DEVIL:
Hans, I have no doubt you will succeed
In finding the way, and then you will proceed,
But before you go and I wish you devilspeed,
There is but one counsel I want you to heed:
Whichever of the two ways, my friend, you choose,
Just remember no longer to speak solely of "the Jews";
Whether you join the Communists or the Islamists,
The world must hear from you that your struggle is against "the
Zionists"!
And the world will approve, for Jew-hatred does not die, it merely
goes into recess,
Again to resurface when it has found a new dress.
[Exeunt]
THE END